Opening my closet and starting to categorize my clothes and other stuff for the part that I can send back home b mail and which I want to put in my luggage makes me really realize that I am leaving soon. Too soon. It is weird that somehow leaving is just something abstract, something distant thing for me until I start packing. Same thing happened when I prepared my trip to here, I knew when I am going to fly, I had all ready, flight ticket bought, insurance, everything expect packing. And while I was enjoying my last week at work, even then I didn’t thought so much that I’m really leaving. I started to get feeling of that when on last Friday, last thing I did was returning my office keys. And then went to home and started first time to think about packing.

And same thing happened again. I knew couple months ago when I am going back to home. I knew it exactly after I changed my ticket’s date to last day of May. Still it was some distant thing until I really opened my closet and started packing. It feels weird after nine months to leave. Somehow I got used to live here, being one of the Seoul members, one of the foreign citizen’s around here. This city has been so friendly for me, starting from the immigration (which managed to get me in to the country faster than Finland), to the nearby Family Mart whose seller greets me happily every time I go there to buy night snack, to the Starbucks seller who always greets me happily when she sees me sitting there.

And today I had dinner with my buddy, who I saw last time for some period. I have always hated good byes, specially these kind that I don’t know when we are going to see again. We are sure that we will see each other again, but when and where… It was much easier to leave Finland, leaving friends and family behind as I knew that most of them are probably still around there when I get back. Some of them has switched city and some of them has escaped Finland back to their home countries, but most of them are still around there, waiting for me. But the people I have to say good byes here, they are going to stay here and I am leaving. And although I hope that I can meet them all again, I don’t know it for sure.

Last time I was in the same situation, leaving new friend behind and going back to home was in 2009 summer when I left Jordan after one month. I hated good byes already then, but spending only one month there make it easier, I didn’t get used to live there, being around. I didn’t liked leaving so much as everything was still fun and new for me, one month somewhere was just too short time. But nine months here, calling this city as home, feeling this place as home for nine months, it is all different. When I returned from my winter vacation, I was happy to land to Incheon, hearing familiar language and subway signals. I felt like I was returning to home, which I was doing. But now it is time for me to stop thinking this place as home and returning back to real home. And it feels just weird, and little scary. I feel that I am too used to see all the people around, all the noise on the street. Being happy as I don’t understand all the stupid conversations that people behind me on the bus are talking. And even that all the noise on the street drives me crazy sometimes, I know that I am going to miss it, I am definitely going to miss crazy and living city which has life even at night.